


And the coin flipped

by woodworms_before_breakfast



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Tragedy, BAMF Merlin (Merlin), Canon Era, F/M, Filler Episode, Gen, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Merlin headcanon, Merthur - Freeform, My First Fanfic, POV Merlin (Merlin), Protective Arthur, Sad Ending, for like a hot second, gwen and lancelot are mentioned, idk if it's really hopeful but i guess, the sidhe are evil
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:09:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25245172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woodworms_before_breakfast/pseuds/woodworms_before_breakfast
Summary: “The choice is yours.”Merlin faces an unimaginably painful choice that threatens the well-deserved happiness he has just gotten in his grasp. Surprise, surprise. The fates are cruel, destiny even more so, but neither are as brutal as the Sidhe. It seems Arthur - along with a chance at a happy future - is going to slip out of his fingers yet again...
Relationships: Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 55





	And the coin flipped

“The choice is yours.”

Arthur’s head swiveled so fast Merlin thought it might fall off. His sky blue eyes met Merlin’s sea green ones, a question — a _question_ , not a demand — shining in them, asking Merlin to make the choice. _It’s up to you,_ they said.

Merlin thought for a moment. This pain of this choice was so sharp, the tears in his eyes didn’t have time to fall before they dissipated. He’d just gotten Arthur to accept him, to see him for _who_ he was and not _what_ he was. How could he bear to have to do that all over again?

Worse, how could he bear to have to go through the confessions of love again, when it was all he could do not to combust from the thought that Arthur loved him — _loved_ him? It seemed like that love had only sparked when Merlin ignited it with his confession of being a warlock. That show of trust had erased Arthur’s doubts and led to the most beautiful night of Merlin’s life.

And yet... how could he let anything happen to Gwen? Sweet, pure Gwen, who deserved so much better than to succumb to the evil of the Sidhe after all the love she’d poured into Arthur, into Merlin, into Lancelot.

_Lancelot._

No, Merlin knew exactly what he had to do. What he owed to the knight in shining armor who had struck the griffin all those years ago before it could strike Merlin.

He opened his eyes and allowed the pain in them to give Arthur his answer. The forlorn look of love, of grief, of guilt, of despair — Arthur saw it, he understood it, and hardly a second passed before the look was mirrored in Arthur’s own eyes. They nodded at each other, too far apart for the expression of love they truly wanted to exchange. Merlin sighed; if he’d known his kiss with Arthur that afternoon was going to be the last — no, not the last. It couldn’t be the last. It was only a matter of time before the opportunity arose once more to reveal the two deepest secrets of Merlin’s life to the one person he wished to tell them to the most. The opportunity _had_ to come again. If it didn’t—

“Do your worst.”

Merlin winced as the fierce words passed through Arthur’s trembling lips. As the Sidhe sneered with utter satisfaction and contempt. As his own fists shook and broke into the useless hands they were, hands that could save neither Arthur nor himself.

“Merlin.”

No. He squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the blast of the Sidhe’s staff.

“ _Merlin_.”

He couldn’t help it. He opened his eyes. Drank in that last gaze of love and devotion and awe that shone from those almond-shaped pieces of sky. Drank in the promises sweeping through those golden locks and cascading silently off those rosy, full lips.

“Merlin, I’m not letting them do it until I tell you this. I swear to you, although I’ll continue behaving like the dollophead I am and dismiss you as nothing more than a servant at times — I swear to you, my feelings are there. They’ll always be there, even when these memories aren’t. Every time I call you an idiot, throw something at your head — whatever it is I do that tells you I’m the princely prat I am — know that it is another declaration of the love I’m too scared to express in any other way. And Merlin” — he’d looked away again — “Merlin, when you tell me about your powers next time, I regret to say I may very well react as harshly — as _unfairly_ as I did this time. But I know, and you should know too, that in my heart _nothing_ can ever change the way I feel about and think of you.”

Merlin gasped as a sob wrenched itself free of his clammy throat. His body was an oak leaf in a blizzard, his legs rocks about to topple over a cliff. But his eyes were beacons of moonlight as they held Arthur’s gaze.

“And I swear to you, Arthur, that I will have the courage to tell you again. I trust you, always have and always will, even when my darkest secrets show themselves.”

_And Arthur_ , he mused, unable to put thought into words, _every time I call you a clotpole or my lord, know that it is “my soul” and “my love.”_

They smiled at each other only a moment before the Sidhe cackled and they shut their eyes to brace themselves for the flash of the staff. It was quick, sudden, painless — everything the end of an eternal love should be.

And the coin flipped. The Once and Future King and his beloved warlock would have to find each other again.

**Author's Note:**

> hey this is my first fanfic! I'm still not really sure how AO3 works but if ppl can leave comments that'd be great :D
> 
> this is based on a tumblr headcanon by @isaustraliaathing where it's a filler episode and arthur has found out about merlin's magic, but because of some evil plot (I used the Sidhe) their memories are erased 


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